


Troy's first Burnout

by PunkArsenic



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Autistic Character, Canon Autistic Character, Gen, autistic troy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-30
Updated: 2014-08-30
Packaged: 2018-02-15 11:29:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2227371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PunkArsenic/pseuds/PunkArsenic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Troy's always seemed perfectly neurotypical to everyone he's ever met, although maybe a little slow. He used facial expressions, voice tone, he was the most popular guy in the school for christ's sake! But every so often, he'd disappear for whole weekends. No one really questioned it, he was just practicing intensely, or he was ill, or there was some weird religious family thing to do. For a few days he could hide away, stim, barely utter a word.</p><p>It's harder to do that when you're an adult sharing an apartment with two other people. And, as Abed knows too well, working yourself that hard for that long, starts to take its very serious toll...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Troy's first Burnout

**Author's Note:**

> I'm autistic, and bc i went undiagnosed i think i had a burnout when i started secondary school (british school system sorry). its confusing bc im also mentally ill which plays into it... but yeah all this is based off my experience and what ive heard from other autistics.

"Troy? Hey, buddy, it's morning," Abed nudged Troy, trying to coax him awake, "C'mon we gotta get to school."  
   Troy groaned and turned over, curled up in a ball.  
Abed backed off, tilting his head, "Could you not sleep last night?" Troy didn't make a noise and Abed just stood there, watching, unsure what to do.  
Time passed in silence.  
  "Troy? Abed?" Annie looked into their fort, and huffed, "You guys!" she scolded, "It's  _finals_ today! We can't afford to be sitting around!"  
  "Troy won't get up. I have a theory as to why but I can't know for su- what are you doing?"  
  Annie had thrown the sheets off Troy, pulling him up. "No stop that!" Abed shouted over Troy's groaning, which turned into a long monotone yell, as he had his hands over his ears and was rocking as he sat on the edge of the bed.  
   Abed pulled Annie away from him before she could do anything else, "Annie I think this is a burnout."  
   "A  _what?"_  
   "A burnout. Troy's autistic, like me, and-"  
   "He  _told_ you this?"  
   "No I figured it out. Anyway, I think he's been trying to act not autistic for so long that he's burned out."  
   "What does that mean?"  
   "Well... that," he nodded to Troy. He signaled for Annie to stay where she was, and knelt in front of him, "Troy, nod if I'm allowed to hold your hand. Shake your head if I'm not," Troy nodded, and Abed took his hand gently, rubbing it, "Are you thinking in words right now or not? Once again, nod for yes, shake for no," Troy shook his head. "Okay. Do you know you're autistic?" Troy rocked faster, slapping his hands over his ears and compressing his head, "Look, ok, Troy? It's alright, really it is. It's cool, it's really cool! You're gonna be fine, alright? We're gonna let you rest until you get your words back, and then we'll work from there. Ok?" Troy's hands dropped into his lap, but he kept rocking, staring at them, "Nod for ok, shake for not ok," Troy eventually nodded.  
   Abed pulled out a box from under the bed, and opened it to reveal stim toys. He put it on the bed beside Troy, "The one's in the bag are chewy, don't touch them. But besides that, go wild."  
   He then stood up and walked back to Annie, "There. He can't come to school today. And possibly not tomorrow either. I don't know how long this will last."  
  "But he has to come to school today!" Annie stressed, "Finals?!"  
  Abed shook his head, "It's not happening. No way no how. We can talk to the dean about it, he'll do something for us."  
  "But can we really leave him here  _alone?_ Like  _this?_ "  
   "Hm," Abed went back to Troy, "Hey, Troy, do you want me to stay with you, or will you be ok on your own? Nod if you want me to stay with you," Troy paused, then nodded, "Okie doke."

 

  After a day and a half, Troy was back to his usual self, and was desperate to put the last two days behind him. Abed stood infront of him as he tried to leave the blanketfort, "Hey so we really need to talk now that you've got your words back,"  
  Troy smiled at him, shaking his head, "Man, it was a one off thing ok? I was just ill. I'm not... yknow..."  
  "Ok, now, we can dance around this like autistic is a bad word, but while that's A: not doing you any favours it's also B: kind of hurtful to me."  
  "Uh, but I'm not autistic, ok?"  
  "Then what was that?"  
  "I was sick! I get like that sometimes," he mumbled, shoving past him. Abed sighed and followed him,  
  "Yeah so do I. Not any more, because I'm more careful now. But in 6th grade I pretended to be normal for a whole year, and then I couldn't talk for a week!"  
   "Ok dude. Whatever,"  
  "Are you scared that being autistic will tarnish your Cool Guy attitude? Because I know it's a 50/50 split of-"  
  "Just because I act like some guy from some movie doesn't mean I'm autistic,"  
  "No but I think you mimic them to appear cool because you're different when we're alone."  
  He looked at him, frowning, "What?"  
  "You're different when we're alone."  
  "I heard you. How am I different?"  
   "Well, you have less voicetone, I think, and you don't really use facial expression, although you don't use it much anyway if you ask me. And now and then I have seen you stimming but not much only really when we're super relaxed,"  
  Troy stared at him, and Abed stared back, they both stared just outside eye contact. Then Troy huffed and stormed away.  
  "Just so you know, Troy," Abed called after him, "I just told the group you were under the weather.

 

   As Troy entered the study room, there was a simultaneous chorus of, "Hi Troy!" that sounded overly saccharine and fake,  
   "What's wrong? Did someone die? Was it someone I know?" he gasped, "Are you all planning a surprise party?!"  
  "No," scoffed Britta, "We just missed you," She tilted her head, smiling at him sympathetically.  
  "Ohhhhkayyyyy...." Troy mumbled uneasily as he sat down, eyeing everyone suspiciously. Abed was staring at Annie, who has avoiding his gaze.  
  Troy whispered to him, "What's going on?"  
  "They know. Annie told them,"  
  "WHAT?!" he stifled himself, whispering again, "What?"  
  "Well, she didn't directly tell them she said that I thought you were, and I'm not good at lying so..."  
  "Abed, the ultimate pretend player, is bad at lying?"  
  "Yup. Sorry buddy."  
  He groaned and then sat up, looking around the table and pointing at Abed, "He was wrong! Ok? He was wrong..."  
  "Ah, I thought so," Britta interjected smugly, "See, as a psych major-"  
  "Shut up Britta," Abed snapped,  
  "Uh! Abed!" she scolded, "That is very rude-"  
  "You don't know anything about autism."  
  She put her hand on her heart, playing up her offence, "I have a cousin with aut-"  
  "I have a brain with autism, I win."  
  Britta was about to continue arguing, when Jeff, with perfect timing, banged the table, "It doesn't matter who does or doesn't have autism! Can we please change the subject!"  
  The subject was changed.

 

    Troy had been avoiding Abed all day, while Abed had been keeping a close eye on Troy. It all added up to a very uncomfortable day. In the lunch hall, Abed was sitting with the other's, having got their first, and watched Troy sit as far away from them as possible. He quickly moved. It was notably louder in the hall today, as there had been a very controversial football game the night before. Troy's head was stooped low, face creased up in a frown. When a fight broke out, jacking up the noise, Abed pulled Troy out, it wasn't the best thing to do, but it was necessary. He pulled him into a quiet cupboard away from the chaos, and watched the meltdown play out, apologizing now and then.  
   Calming down, Troy sat and rocked, staying very quiet. Abed sat next to him and hugged his knees, he didn't say anything, just waited.  
   "Ok... Maybe I'm... autistic but I can still be cool."  
   "If you ask me, cool autistic is the only kind of autistic. But cool autistics still need breaks."  
   "What like, where I act like you for a while?"  
   "Not exactly like me. Just... act like you."  
   "I do act like me! This is who I am! Who I've always been!"  
   "Ok uh... act like you, but add stimming and quiet times."  
   "You don't 'stim'."  
   "Yeah I do, you just don't notice it."  
  "And I don't remember everything like you do, and I'm not super smart, and... there's loadsa stuff you do that I don't!"  
   "And some autistic people can't talk, it doesn't mean we're not autistic. Autistics are all different."  
  "But I'm not nerdy!" Troy stressed,  
   Abed frowned, "But you watch Inspector Spacetime with me."  
  "So!? I'm still not a nerd."  
   "Either way I'm pretty sure being nerdy isn't on the criteria."  
  Troy paused, trying to think of another argument. "What even is stimming?"  
   "It's repetitive actions that stimulate the senses because we sensory seek."  
  "I don't get it."  
   "It's hard to explain. C'mon, class is starting any second."  
  They stood up, did the cool handshake, and went to class.

 

   "See? Look at this. I don't fit the criteria. I don't even know what half this means..." Troy insisted as he pointed to his computer screen, which displayed the DSM-V criteria for Autistic Spectrum Disorder.  
  Abed shook his head, "The DSM is written for doctors and such, it's hard to understand. Try this," he got up a webpage which contained a list of traits written in reasonably basic english, "When I'm in doubt, I look to this. It's written by autistic people, and it states all the different traits far more clearly." ( www.politeyeti.tumblr.com/post/16448184988/autistic-created-alternative-autism-criteria )  
   "Oh this is... way longer! What's auditory processing difficulties?"  
   "It's where you can't understand what people are saying, even though there's no outside force stopping you from doing so such as other noises."  
   "I don't do that."  
  Abed talked Troy through the list, explaining things, pointing out things he did. Slowly Troy's eyes widened in the way they do when he's panicked or surprised.  
    "So," asked Abed, "What do you think now?"  
   "This is wrinkling my brain! I thought autism was just that thing where you were super nerdy and stuff."  
    "We're often nerdy because of the social impairment, and special interests."  
   "And the routine thing like, you can't be cool if you can't just roll with it."  
    "So, you fit the criteria, do you accept that you're autistic?"  
   "Well... uh...." Troy shuffled in his seat, "Um... it's a lot to take in,"  
    "Take your time. Want some special drink?"  
   "Yeah that'd be cool."  
    "Coolcoolcool."

 

  "Ok I lied," Abed blurted once it was near time for bed, "You don't really have much time to do the accepting part if you don't want to have another shutdown tomorrow,"  
  "But... Abed, this is a  _really_ big thing to take in!"  
  "I know but we need to work out things like stimming and sensory issues before tomorrow."  
  "What like with those toys?"  
  "If that works for you, yes."  
  Troy shook his head, "Nah I'm not carrying around a baby toy,"  
  Abed frowned, tilting his head, "You don't have to. Stim toys aren't baby toys, Troy."  
  "They look like them!"  
  "Even the putty?"  
  "Ok the putty's alright."  
  "Cool," he ran into the fort and returned with a packet with three lumps of putty in it. He handed them to Troy, "Brand new."  
  
to be continued when i think of what to do next.


End file.
